Keeping a secret or clandestine love is a very tense situation, risky and ultimately can lead us to ask whether it is worth keeping.
I was thinking about what topic to address as conquer the website which deals with issues of family, when I suddenly heard this iconic song Camilo Sesto has a letter which reads:
I have to love
like a coward
Surely you’ve heard, right? And although most people associate this song to a faithless love , in an interview this prolific Spanish singer and songwriter, confessed that “A hidden” it was all those clandestine love, which for whatever reason should be hidden from public scrutiny.
This type of relationship is what we address in this case, which are numerous and whose future is really uncertain. If you are in a situation, whether for whatever reason, surely you have wondered, if it really worth it or glimpse a light at the end of the tunnel.
Why keep a record so you may have worked well at first, over the issue of adrenaline, the forbidden, of what that involves risks and dangers. But then, when the bonds become stronger not think this situation will continue to be nice. So what to do?
We will discuss the 3 types of clandestine love best known:
The first clandestine love: hide from parents
Surely many of us have been through this. Having at 13, 14, 15 years the first love was all a risk, because, for the parents of a sweet, virginal young woman who has just begun to live, all the suitors will be a shaggy, spoiled, lazy and idle who want to take advantage the apple of his eye.
Then we have to see our boy in secret and only our best friends and friends know that we are together. Sometimes even that, and then we quickly held her hand, when someone comes. But then, when we are alone, under the stairs of the building or tree in the park, then we give our first hugs and kisses, which will remain in our memory forever.
While many of these early relationships are good for the memory and the first experiences of life, I find something that girls do not see in that first moment: how right are usually our parents.In most cases they detected beyond the badly dressed, combed and not having good manners, when a boy is not for us.
Of course, adolescent rebellion and good, our right to make missteps and then learn from them, often prevails, becoming the first love of something behind the scenes. What to do? As parents, not strictly prohibited, but talk. By prohibiting, you will push your daughter over to see what may. I know many relationships that have ended even teenagers with unwanted pregnancies because of this terrible communication gap.
This type of relationship is the most common, most of what you believe, however, is unlikely to succeed, and if successful, it reaches fruition. A love born of betrayal and suffering caused to others can not end well.
Being the “other”, which will be granted only some areas of human life in dispute, do not think is something that a woman desires for herself. However, when we love, we accept excuses like “I’m just with my wife for my children” or “sleep in separate beds” or “she will not sign the divorce.” We ended up cornered in our own lies and losers.
A faithless love is not recommended under any circumstances, be the other, or be the wife that establishes a parallel relationship with another person. A relationship is a contract of love and fidelity permanent should not be broken, and broken, it must be healthy, instead of resorting to deception.
The forbidden love
There are many love affairs that end up being illegal because society, established by those around us do not. And although we say that nobody should be imposed in the decision of two people, the truth is that often does happen that others stand, and to not create “problems” and conflicts, the couple decide to take their relationship in the shadows.
Thus, a relationship is hidden from others and this, which at first may come as a pleasant adventure, ends up becoming an anguish not express the love wherever you want, can not be free to walk the streets of the hand of someone you love, let alone get to the altar and swear eternal love must be painful.
I know of a famous actress of the medium whose father stopped talking for not accepting her boyfriend, a choreographer. Finally, they decided to continue with their marriage and come out of hiding. The day of your wedding, the father did not attend, clinging to a belief silly, that ultimately ended up doing miss the most important moment in the life of his daughter.
And I also know of cases that have ended badly: I remember reading in the newspapers for a couple who decided, in the style of Romeo and Juliet, end their lives together, embraced in a hotel. His parents and friends did not accept their relationship.
In this kind of love, I recommend that the principle must apply that is us who decide whether this is worthwhile or not. It’s good to hear from people, but we must not let them impose our decisions and unless we blackmail. They must learn to accept our decisions, like it or not.
And when we do not really agree?
However, if we are blocking out the sun with one finger, and at the bottom, we know that that person is not convenient for us, we must pause to think about what we want for our future.
I heard not long ago the great psychologist Pilar Sordo talking about a resort that many women suffer: the heroines. Why do we always choose the least desirable? because unconsciously hope that through us they can change, improve, our savior complex, comes to us to make us believe that we will succeed, which is, in most cases a mirage.
If our friends and family, all in all, we advise that this person does not suit us, let us make the same question deep down within ourselves and examine whether there really have a promising future or anything. So we must make a decision to come clean with what really we want for our future. We deserve better, after all.